how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize