At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I need water and some morals
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
