Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
