Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
