Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I love you. Go after that dick
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
