just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
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she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
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Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
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