I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
its not stalking. its research.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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