he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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