I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
