i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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