Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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