...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
