I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
sarcasm needs its own font
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
