You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
