Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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