All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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