thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
