I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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