I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
