someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
