I wanna bring you to show and tell
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize