yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
