PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
