Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
