Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
