I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
