There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
