Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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