You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
