The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
