Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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