Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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