dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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