Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
