Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
