so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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