So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
