Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Randomize
