Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
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if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
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You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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