Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
