My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I have aggressive nipples.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
