i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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