when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
If I die, sorry about rent.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
