I skipped work to stalk him.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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