You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
