i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
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