How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
