ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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