Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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