just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
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Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
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The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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