put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize