I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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