gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
