who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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