Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
