he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
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If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
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Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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