i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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